This is gonna be a solemn post.
A gf of mine passed away in a car accident just under 2 weeks ago. We were just in Hong Kong at the start of the month. I hadn’t known her for super long and we weren’t exactly close but her very sudden passing made me reflect on a great deal of things.
She left behind her husband and their young daughter and words cannot describe the tragic sorrow at the funeral. Where is the God that everyone speaks of? Where is the faith that people are supposed to have? To rob our world of her so abruptly that none of us could quite come to terms with it.
Some people believe in karma. Bad things happen to bad people, they say. But bad things happen to good people too. LIFE NEEDS NO REASONS. DEATH NEVER NEEDS TO BE FAIR.
When people leave, in life or love, what happens to the people they leave behind?
There is no fuckin guarantee when it comes to life and love. When you love someone, you open your heart to them. YOU RISK THE HEARTBREAK OF LOSING THEM.
In life, people invest in health insurance, airbags, vaccines, and safety precautions. We put our faith in doctors and seat-belts and multi-vitamins. We NEED to know we’re doing all we possibly can to secure our lives.
In love, people play games and test each other, in order to prove the other worthy of their love. Cos we want a guarantee, we NEED a guarantee. We NEED to get ROM-ed, we NEED to buy a flat together, I NEED your signature on the dotted line.
Everybody wants a promise. Of permanence. Of forever.
But the truth is, nothing is forever. People fall sick , people die, people leave, people fuck up, people change their minds and change their hearts. I could list a billion reasons refuting the idea of forever.
I think life really is about the journey. I hate planning, I have no clue how my life’s gonna pan out in 5 years, I don’t have a savings plan. It might be naive, but I’m all about the NOW.
The concept of happy-ever-after is possibly the MOST misleading fallacy ever. If/when I have kids, I will screen all the dumbass story books advocating this notion.
There will be good days, and there will be bad days. Happy some days and sad some days. It is a fool who searches for happy-ever-after. I’m beyond content with happy-right-now.
So live and love with all your heart, cos death and heartbreak is inevitable and outta our control anyway. Tell the people you love that you do, don’t hold back, don’t wait. Life is way too exhilarating to always be pre-empting and prepping and being afraid and wanting absolute control.
Rest in love and peace, R. I thank you for reminding me to let go of chasing the happy-ever-after and to cherish the happy-right-now. And more than that, bless your heart and soul for teaching me to not be afraid. Of life, of death, of love, of heartbreak.
9 Comments
True.. Life is real because of such events.
I like the statement ‘I’m beyond content with happy-right-now’.
Agree with u that there is no happily ever after. They only exist in fairy tales and we shouldn’t be chasing after it. We live in the real world and not fantasy.
A friend of mine passed away 3 yrs back. He died of a mosquito bite.
I was really shocked by the cruelty of death.
I empathise with you
I agree w/ you that people take a lot for granted (I’m a good example), however while I agree that one should live for the moment, one shouldn’t live “dumbly” by not preparing for the future. If something bad can be avoided, why not? Just don’t let it consume you. Prevention is always better than the cure; why wait ’til it’s too late?
a secondary school friend of mine passed away unexpectedly, on a railway track. it was all over the newspaper. The shock of it was so sudden and i empathize with you too.
then again, if u don’t invest in anybody, nobody will invest in you. don’t forget that there’s also another ending – old and alone. and worse still, u might be less attractive then
well written post, kaykay. I feel you totally..
really good post. i like the people change, people die, ppl f up etc line. because its true.
this is heavy stuff… was just thinking about it the other day to. there is something comforting in the idea of a God– a piece of hope that people can cling onto when loved ones are in need. not everyone is a realist cuz the truth is just too hard to face ):