Henry in one of his many many love letters to Anais, dated March 21 1932:
Anais, I don’t know how to tell you what I feel. I live in perpetual expectancy. You come and the time slips away in a dream. It is only when you go that I realize completely your presence. And then it is too late. You numb me. [...] I don’t know what to expect of you, but it is something in the way of a miracle. I am going to demand everything of you – even the impossible, because you encourage it.
Anais in one of her many many love letters to Henry, dated March 26 1932:
I love when you say all that happens is good, it is good. I say all that happens is wonderful. For me it is all symphonic., and I am so aroused by living – god, Henry, in you alone I have found the same swelling of enthusiasm, the same quick rising of the blood, the fullness, the fullness… Before, i almost used to think there was something wrong. Everybody else seemed to have the brakes on. [...] I never feel the brakes. I overflow. And when I feel your excitement about life flaring, next to mine, then it makes me dizzy.
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I wish I lived long ago. Not in 2011.
I’m not cut out for this era. Technology wears me down.
Yes. I have 2 smartphones charging beside me in bed while I type this entry in Google Chrome on my mbp on my lap. 10 tabs including this one are open. Emails. YouTube. Tumblr accounts. Searches. You could say I’m lucky. I barely have to get out of bed to get work and play done while being thoroughly connected.
When I say “thoroughly”, it isn’t an overstatement.
BBM. Whatsapp. SMS. MSN. Skype. KakaoTalk. LINE. Facebook messages. Twitter replies/DMs. SIX email accounts. I would NEVER be able to fall off the face of this earth. Even if I wanted to, assuming I wanted to.
Truth be told, while I don’t know what I’d do without all these conveniences and this level of connectivity(nothing figurative about my assertion that I can’t live without my Blackberry), I sometimes wish I live in a time during which NONE of these exist.
Even as I word this post, when my Blackberry blinks with all sorts of notifications, I reach for it to check and reply; when my iPhone vibrates to alert me on Whatsapp messages, emails, Twitter replies, I reach for it to check and reply; when the song I’m listening to stops, I go to YouTube and click replay or search for a new one. Then I come back here to continue where I left off.
I am SO distracted. And more than that, I’m drained from being an every-waking-moment slave to all the gadgets I wanted in the first place. I’m totally addicted and I CANNOT STOP. Unless of course I go cold turkey on technology.
It would be excruciating to have all my gadgets taken away, not gonna lie. But I think that is ONLY because I’ve been exposed and grown accustomed to them.
What if, just WHAT IF, I lived in the 1930′s? Just like Henry Miller and Anais Nin.
I’d have to write. Manually.
For the life of me, I can’t remember the last time I put pen to paper and inked out a letter. Can you? (Signatures do NOT count.)
Imagine if I have zero gadgets, zero distractions, and half a day to read a handwritten letter and to write one back.
I dare not and do not want to think about how much the quality of my writing would improve. When I have oodles of time and my attention is undivided, I can truly focus on pouring my heart and head out into a single handwritten letter.
It’s no wonder love affairs of times past were so intense and everlasting. And “I will love you forever” was actually believable and not just a cheesy movie line.
Regardless of time period, communication is the heart of love. Here in 2011, how do we communicate?
I’m SMS-ing you “imu” while reading a Facebook message from some old acquaintance asking for my MSN address while getting bombed by my Whatsapp group chat in which I lost track of what they’re talking about some 20 mins ago cos I was kaypoh-ing on status updates in BBM. And in the 10 mins you take to reply me, I go on Twitter to catch up on the tweets of the past hour and 2 of the people I happen to be following are engaging in a heated tweet war with replies with screenshots and links which I click on and get myself caught up in the drama. When you reply me “imu 2″ 10 mins later, I have clean forgotten that I texted u “imu”, much less how I felt when I sent that text. Not knowing what to reply cos I no longer feel like I miss you, I end this SMS convo with “Ok ttyl! x” and go back to losing myself in more Twitter drama, Facebook chats, BBM chats, and back to my group chat on Whatsapp to ask for a summary of who said what.
If you’re still with me here, please scroll up to the top of this entry and compare the above paragraph to the passionate exchange between Henry Miller and Anais Nin.
In decades long ago, writing to someone was all about letting the words deliver your heart and soul over the distance. You pour your innermost feelings out in as many and as colourful words you desire. You let your pen fly off the pages because you just have so much to say and you only have the chance of this ONE letter to make known your love before you wait days or weeks for a reply. Thoughtfulness, patience, assurance, care, admiration, worship, desire, longing, intensity, passion. LOVE.
Today, on top of the distractions of technology and its demands on us, we’ve also been trained to communicate in an entirely new fashion. SHORT Message Service: 160 characters. Tweets: 140 characters. Even when we are granted new avenues to express our feelings/thoughts, eg. Facebook status, BBM status and the like, they ALL have character limits. Technology has made us impatient and lazy. In emails and other communication medium where there isn’t a ceiling on the number of words, we use acronyms, short forms, and standard emoticons in place of words. It is exactly the same on the receiving end; nobody now has the patience to read lengthy tedious messages/emails, regardless of content. Case in point: how many of you made it here?
You see now why I don’t wanna live in 2011? I need to communicate. I want to know the heart of the person I love. I can’t read minds– he has to tell me. How am I EVER going to connect and entwine my soul with somebody else’s when I’m texting “imu”?
I’ve always wished for a love so intense and so ablaze with passion it will wear time down. I feel acutely tragic that it had to take me stumbling upon excerpts of the handwritten love letters between 2 people 80 years ago to realize this: There can never be passion in “ilu”.
I want the 1930′s deal. Will trade in my Apples and Berries for handwritten love letters. I think I will go write one now. With a real pen. I hope I make it past 140 characters.
25 Comments
i agree with everything you stated here. we take the speed of the 21st century too much for granted. it’s no wonder people say that there is a lack of communication in relationships – there is hardly enough effort made in that area. some are too satisfied with a simple “ok” or an “ily”. lots yearn for letters, “”longer”" text messages but not many take the initiative to start one. to these people, perhaps letters are a luxury to them.
letters shouldn’t be a luxury…. it was the foundation of communication before all this internet jargon peppers our conversations. it’s sad that the importance of putting in effort to penning a complete thought, feeling, emotion has faded away and superseded.
My boyfriend broke up with me today early in the morning.. After reading this post, I realised I felt that much of passion for him, just like Henry Miller and Anais Nin. I wrote him countless letters, countless handmade presents, but he never ever did. All he does is just meet me. He has broken up with me before, and both times was over technology, never face to face. Is he that short of passion for me?
I am still pondering.
I agree with what you blogged about. Though I’m young and I don’t know how love is suppose to feel like, I see a lot of my friends engaging in talks with their other half online. Some of them don’t even take the effort to find out more about the other half’s personality instead they ask her/his friends on the Internet. It saddens me how the world has grown to become and I also wished the world will go back to times where people visit each other’s houses when they have something to talk about instead of saying it over the Internet. I miss the times where you go to the letterbox in anticipation of a new letter from someone that lives far away. I will really hope that someday the world will realize what they put themselves into and not make snailmail extinict. (:
I was standing (on the way to do my laundry) while reading this post with about 6 tabs open on Chrome, iPhone on one hand, screen filled with the latest tweets. (Twitter led me here) Then as I went on reading, I laid down the phone. Pulled out a chair, and sat myself down at the desk to read it till the very end.
We will always have the patience to read a good piece of writing.
I was thoroughly inspired to write. Something from the heart. A good piece of writing that I would be afraid to show anyone else, because it’s so deeply intimate.
Then, I remembered I had laundry to do.
But thank you for this post.
Thanks for the Great post! Definitely puts perspective.
Life without technology and globlalisation was so much simpler .. And better!
This is the best post I’ve read in a very long time! I cannot agree more with you. And I want to thank you for showing & sharing what’s on your beautiful mind.
I myself did often think about writing a post like this yet I never did it. Guess I was afraid no one would understand or even read such a long post since no one seems to have time these days (which isn’t true if we would at least be honest with ourselves).
I myself would prefer writing letters in the old manner. I simply love the old – fashioned style of expressing your thoughts and feelings. I love the sound of the old language that sounds like music in my years in comparison to todays “imu, thx, bb, …”.
I think I’m going to surprise my elder sister with a handwritten letter next week. She’s gonna love it.
Thank you very much once more.
It’s also a pity that when friends come together, to have fun of course, most of them get distracted by their technology such that it becomes pointless gathering in the first place. They could well be at home, spending their time being immersed in their facebook stalking, whatsapp-ing with other friends, and other stuff.. Instead of sitting together at a table and using these technologies while waiting for your food to come. And when one starts using their phone, another one will follow, and another one will follow.. And the table becomes quiet. I hate such situations. Can’t everyone make some time for friends, and put away their technology for a while? If it’s an important message that you must reply, then i think its courtesy to make a quick reply and come back into the picture with your friends, no?
Sorry if i seem like i’m ranting here, but i feel alot for this post you’ve written. Wished we had no technology, that we were in another era too. Technology seems to ruin us.
Hi Kay Kay,
Your post reminded me of the period when my husband was courting me. I was constantly using short forms in messages/notes to him but he always spelled out every single word in reply. I asked him why and he said it’s more sincere that way.
Technology has already made it so easy for us to communicate with one another, the least we could do is to put in some effort to make our feelings felt through our text messages, emails, tweets and whatnot. It won’t be as heartwarming as a handwritten letter but it can still be rather sweet (and it will always be with us, as long as we have it saved somewhere!).
May you find your own Henry Miller, and may your lives together be passionate, everlasting.
xoxo
This was a wonderfully written blogpost! It triggered something inside of me, and hit so, so close to home. – so thank you.
I love this post, the topic, the emotions, and the way you brought the message across.
I love writing letters, especially during christmas times, but sadly, usually out of around 25 letters, 1 writes back. The rest simply messages me “Oh! I rcved ur card! So cute! Thx!”
Please post more often. I enjoy reading your posts/tweets. <3
There is no doubt on how frustratingly short our attention span has become with the increased reliance on technology. We cannot focus on anything, anything at all. We want to be entertained by the second, and as at the end of the day, we cannot be satisfied by anything, for it only makes us happy in that moment.
All of us can feel it, this tingling feel of discomfort as you read anything more than what you’re used to online. Reading a novel used to be easy, and now, I catch myself losing my attention in the middle if a sentence. Lazy, lazy, lazy. We are becoming really really lazy.
I follow you on twitter and have done so for quite a while because i thoroughly enjoy your very spirited outbursts (haha) and passionate, emotive tweets about love and friendship.
this post of yours really hit the spot because my current bf of a few months surprised me with 3 letters, each representing a different thing, on the night i left for japan for two weeks when we began our relationship. i was supposed to ration them and read them slowly but i devoured them on the plane there. those 3 letters weren’t glib or slick, they were sincere and sweet and infatuated.
with an ex who was a man who wasn’t very expressive with his words, i always forced/emphasized that he had to write me a card every birthday and i ended up treasuring those cards that i know he had to crack his brains to write more than the actual presents. (dammit writing this out is making me cry…)
many men know how to do wonderful things with their fingers (hahahah) but not many know the power of a good heartfelt letter or even a surprise note or card.
i hardly leave comments on blogs that i read but i felt compelled to give you such a long-winded comment because i know you’re a hardcore romantic like me; so i know you’ll find your witty, verbose and sweet man who has no qualms putting his heart down on paper and giving you some happiness and good old fashioned romance in an envelope.
I wish I could write like this. And btw, you can set your youtube songs on repeat by typing in “repeat” after youtube. e.g. http://www.youtuberepeat.com/ksbghjsgbjkabrfh
Well written! It’s always so enjoyable to read whatever that you write. Be it a tweet or a blogpost. Hope that you would blog more often wit articles like this.
And this blogpost make me feel really guilty. Make me wanna pick up a pen now and write to my long lost pals overseas.
How insightful. Really. This really made me think so much. I never used to write back to my boyfriend, despite his random handwritten love letters. It was always me flipping out my iPhone, to reply, “Oh yes. Thank you so much for the letter. Love you too.” Whatever happened to paper & ink huh? I’m so guilty of this. It takes real effort to flip out a paper, find a good pen to write heartfelt words out. It shows so much. I love this post so much. And for once, I’m gonna go search for a pen and paper to write my thoughts out to that boy.
Thank you KayKay <3
1. I love this post. It speaks to my heart.
2. I know you’ve been receiving a lot of flak from netizens who can’t seem to tolerate anything single damn thing you do (or don’t do). Someone once told me that people enjoy kicking down sandcastles because they’re beautiful. These people know they’re incapable of building anything comparable, so they resort to destroying those sandcastles. P.S. I love your voice (on CvD).
Evidence! Read your entry =)
love this post! agree with everything you said!
you are so right. i met this guy recently but i’m in Malaysia and he’s working in HK. and altho we whatsapp everyday. and sometimes email, i didnt realize how much was missing until he calls. everytime he calls it just proves how meaningless whatsapss and emails are, they just DONT convey the feelings you want to express or the emotions you feel. it makes it cheap and easy to communicate yes, but communication is so much more than that. oh well.
Damn !
I gotta admit !
These are true facts !
Kay Kay, your a good writer yourself !
Excellent !
Teehee ! ^^
Hi Kay Kay,
I love your latest blog entry about today’s technology and old-school hand written letters. I get worn out by these gadgets too!And I truly miss all the old school stuff haha. Actually, I think many of us does miss all these, don’t you think?
Makes human relationships much more intimate.
Once again, thanks for a wonderful entry, your writing is a joy to read
One request from a fan reader, please update more often!
God Bless x
first time reading ur blog and this entry just made me bookmark ur site:) i’m glad i managed to read all of what you have written and cannot agree with u more that we are now enslaved to technology. Going to search out fanciful paper and pens to write christmas notes to my close friends and bf now:) thanks for ur timely reminder of the power of handwritten notes!
While reading your post I realized it is so true! But it was actually just when I was halfway of the text and my when my whatapp popped up.
I have girlfriend, and in my opinion our relation ship became less and less intimate in the years we know each other. Especially when it comes to communication. I myself have a hardtime talking about anything really personal. And technology made thing shit damn worse. We won’t meet that often since we’re both really busy. So we’re texting a lot.
now i’m totally aware of this, i guess i will try a little harder again!
And also, arggg all those technology thing distract me so much! xD actually i should have been studying by now.
Thanks anyway, for the great post.
Good read kaykay! I read the entire blogpost! #successkid
Really good read. Left me pondering for a bit.