Hi guys, long time no update.
Everyone’s on all the micro-platforms now, IG, Snapchat, 17 (which I heard got pulled from the App Store cause ppl were posting porn on the live stream zzz), I find myself having no time nor desire to update here. Sorwee.
So anywayyyy, today’s post is inspired by these Elite Daily, Thought Catalog articles my friends have been sharing on Facebook. I’ve been wanting to write a post on this topic for a damn long time but kept putting it off. It’s a Singaporean spin on “He’s Not That Into You”.
My own gfs have suffered from the lack of awareness on this topic, and I’ve been preaching to them for YEARS and it frustrates me so much! So I hope this post helps in some way.
So what is a f*ckboy? This awesome article defines it pretty succinctly: “A ‘fuckboy’ is a young man who sleeps with women without any intention of having a relationship with them or perhaps even walking them to the door post-sex. He’s a womanizer, an especially callous one, as well as kind of a loser.” Still don’t quite get it? Lemme illustrate in local context.
Signs of A Singaporean F*ckboy
1. Commitment Phobia
F*ckboys never say you’re their girlfriend. They might treat you like one when you’re physically together or get jealous when you meet other guys, but the moment you broach the subject of commitment, they change topics faster than Eden Ang doing a backflip.
You: So… where is this going?
F*ckboy: What you mean? *when they obvsly KNOW what you mean*
You(still give chance): This, us… What are we?
F*ckboy: Aiya nowadays where got people put label one? You think secondary school ah? Eh you been doing squats is it? Your ass damn hot now.
2. Textual anti-climax
They take FOREVER to reply. I know forever is relative and some psycho girls really can’t wait 10 mins for a reply BUT it’s 2016. We are ALL glued to our phones. Nobody takes 10 hours to reply. Even if we go to JB, we will kop free WiFi from any Holiday Plaza shop if we’re desperate.
Of course, this isn’t to say the guy MUST be available 24/7 to reply you. To me, it’s all about respect. If they know they’re gonna be busy/on a plane/doing missionary work at some place with no water much less network, it really doesn’t take much to give someone they respect a heads up: “Hey, I’m gonna be busy saving the world for the next few hours. I’ll reply when I can.”
If he consistently takes hours to reply you, with no legit reason(even if he does but doesn’t bother to explain), he doesn’t care that much about your feelings. My bet is, you’re NOT the only girl he’s texting. He replies when he feels like it, when OTHER girls aren’t giving him attention, and you’re at the mercy of someone like that. Are you a puppy with no say in who your owner is? Move the f on, girl.
Guys do not go MIA to “test” you or play games. Guys don’t play ANY games. The only games they’re into involve controllers and XBoxes and Playstations and PCs. If they’re disappearing on you, they’re with someone else they’d rather spend their time with. And there you are, waiting at home, checking your phone, making a million excuses for him, like “he must be busy these couple of weeks”, or “maybe he’s really focusing on his passion”.
When the simple truth is, you are NOT his priority. If you were vaguely important, he’ll make time. If he doesn’t and he keeps ghosting you, WHY are you CHOOSING to prioritise him? If he doesn’t call when he says he will and goes MIA, stop making excuses for him. Guys who go MIA are NOT too busy; they just don’t have the balls to tell you straight up they don’t like you as much as they led you to believe.
4. You’re a secret
NOBODY in his life knows about you. Not his family, not his friends. When he does see you in public, you’re friends at best, strangers at worst. In Singapore, there are hardly any celebs, even if there are, nobody really cares about their love lives. In any case, there’s a HUGE difference between wanting privacy and keeping you a secret. At the very least, the people he’s close to should know about you. Only a f*ckboy would hide you like he’s ashamed of you.
This guy I know told me with the girls he’s a bit paiseh to date, he brings them to NEX for movies, and the ones he’s proud of, he’ll bring to Cine hahaha. No offence to the people who stay near NEX and just really like to go there, but you get the gist la.
If he’s into you, he’ll be on to you like Noah loves parodies, like Shigga loves rap, like Tosh loves ramen, like Dee Kosh loves
drama movies. It’ll be clear as day, everyone around him would know, cause he’s proud of you. Don’t allow yourself to be someone’s shame.
5. You’re always a last minute plan
I don’t mean the obvious 2am booty calls, those go without saying. I mean if he’s ALWAYS randomly asking you out super last minute, he clearly doesn’t care about making plans with you. If he keeps on demanding you to go meet him for dinner/drinks NOW, and NEVER makes plans ahead of time with you, what does it say about his respect for your time? Do you have nothing better to do? Are you just waiting around making ALL your time free for WHENEVER he decides he wants you there?
Even with our friends, we have basic decency to make plans in advance or to ask first. Of course there’ll be last min plans, nobody expects a calendar invite for supper at Thomson Prata, but you know what I mean. You’re a lady, don’t condone f*ckboy behaviour by dropping your life the instant he commands you to.
6. Netflix and Chill
Even if you REALLY only watch Netflix, guys who only wanna hang at their house all the time are essentially f*ckboys. No one is saying he has to bring you to Les Amis, but some effort to take you out is always nice. Even if it’s totally free like a walk at Punggol Park/Yishun Dam, it shows he wants to spend time with you OUTSIDE of the bedroom and will make the effort to put on pants and comb his hair for you.
Really girls, stop going over all the time. The divide between being nice/conveniencing him and 送上门 is very wide. If you let him take you for granted, why would he not be a f*ckboy?
7. Hot and Cold
Otherwise known as the Push and Pull, f*ckboys KNOW when you’re getting sick of their bs. They WILL reel you back in just when you’re about to leave them. Because if you find a boyfriend, who’s gonna entertain them at 2am when they’re bored/lonely? They don’t want you to be their gf so they push you away when you get too needy, but they still want you around so they become decent again when they sense you being sian.
Lemme just say, if he respects you, he’ll make a point to be consistent. Consistency takes effort. Effort that you should be worthy of. If he keeps letting you go and then reeling you back in, PLEASE. Ask him to go Bedok Jetty; that technique is good for catching fish, not women.
That’s all for today. Just a disclaimer: I’m an uncertified pro on f*ckboys and relationships, please take with a daily dose of salt and humour. Also, all names mentioned are NOT f*ckboys, not to my knowledge anyway. ;) I love you all, no hate! X